Things have been a little quiet here on YetAnotherLefty, with no new posts for a while. I thought I’d offer an explanation.
I’m still alive and still have every intention of continuing to blog here. I’ve an increasing number of part-written blog posts in my drafts and ideas for more and I will come back to them. I would be lying if I said I was okay. I’m not.
My depression is flaring up pretty badly. Not Liam-might-die badly cos I decided a long time ago that I was never, ever going to do that again. But yes, Liam-might-seriously-neglect-himself badly and yes Liam-is-fighting-pretty-damn-hard-to-do-every-day-living-stuff badly. My depression is keeping me from writing and finishing posts right now but I’ll be back.
I’ve beaten this before and I’ll beat it again. And again. And again.
I’m pretty sure this flare is just cos I’m stressed about my forthcoming move across the country from Yorkshire to Manchester. There’s so much to organise! So many people for me to coordinate and paperwork to be done! I have social workers and carers and old housemates and new housemates and landlords and councils and benefits offices and GP surgeries and hospitals and parents all wanting to know exactly when I’m moving. And the last entire year of my life to pack into boxes and no idea how to do it… and this would all be scary and challenging *without* depression but because it’s scary and challenging my depression has taken over and is insisting that the solution to all these problems is avoidance, crying and/or staying in bed pretending I’m not even moving out.
The other day I was Very Brave and told my friends that I am struggling and have got friends coming round to give me practical support with the packing. I’m going to be okay and I know I’m going to be okay.
But I’m not okay right now and I’ve decided to tell you. Because I don’t want to hide it and I don’t want to be ashamed. I am ill. I have an illness called depression. It’s a serious problem but I’m dealing with it and getting support from people who love me.
I’m still doing things I love and spending time with people I love, I just need a little more time and patience than usual because I’m struggling right now. I love blogging. I love twitter. I love my friends and family.
Be patient with me please. Normal service will be resumed.. eventually.