Letter to a Drive-by Antisemite

So, today I got antisemitic harassment outside Tesco. This was a bit disturbing and I intend to report it but for now I’d like to make myself feel better by poking fun at the kind of guy who thinks it’s cool to yell things at people from a passing car.

SO:
“Dear Stranger,
Thank you for your unsolicited interest in my religious choices and genital configuration.

After considering your comments carefully, I have come to the conclusion that these facts are none of your business.

To help you in your quest to learn more about Jews, Judaism and my penis, I offer the following helpful hints:
1. Leaning out of the window of a moving car is not an ideal place to start a conversation. Try walking up to someone in a bar, cafe or, if you must, on the street.
2. “Oi, Jew!” is not a polite way to start a conversation. You might like to try “Hello, is it okay if I ask you about your hat?” or “Hi, my name is X, what’s your name?”
3. “You don’t have a foreskin on your penis!” is a declaration rather than a question. My genital configuration is a fact known only to me and a small number of other people, all of whom have actually seen my penis. You have not seen my penis and yelling at me in the street about it will not improve your chances of ever getting to see it. Street harassment is not sexy.
4. I am aware that I am Jewish. I am aware of what my penis looks like. I do not need your help to figure this out. You are not aware of either of these things and are going the right way to remain unaware.
5. As you are neither my doctor nor my boyfriend, there is no need for you to enquire about my genitals. We’ve only just met. I suggest selecting neutral topics such as the weather.

I hope you will take my advice and instead of yelling at the next vaguely Jewish-looking guy you see, will take the time to respectfully approach him, introduce yourself, talk about some neutral uncontentious topics and then *maybe* once settled into a pub or cafe you can think of turning the conversation to religion. Using such an approach, you might find that you learn something and even make a friend.

Yours,
Liam, the Jew who was sitting outside tesco when you drove past”

Advertisements